Fruits of the spirit - don't touch!

At church we got these stickers that are shaped like fruit and each one has a fruit of the spirit on it. Well Mary got them...not me. I thought they were so cute! But it also occurred to me that she is just now getting to the age where she is starting to understand those words and their meanings. But we have been teaching her those concepts since she could crawl!

I thought I would post a few things I've learned about these fruits in my kids lives. I read A LOT and I'm part of some online communities where I learn about parenting and I'm friends with some really great parents. It's taken me a while to learn these things, so I figured I would share them and maybe help some people save some time:)

The first thing I wanted to talk about was self-control. I think this is one of the first things our kids can really learn and grasp well. A couple things we teach very early are:

1. "Don't touch"
2. "Stay"
3. "Come to mommy"
4. "Stop"
5. Sign language

I'll probably break this up, but I'll start with don't touch. I'm not a fan of babyproofing. You will rarely see me move something my kid isn't supposed to touch. Unless I would cry if they broke it:) Which isn't much... I've even asked grandma to put things back that she moved. If Noah approaches something he shouldn't touch, let's say an off limits drawer, I sit down next to him and wait until he touches it, then I say "do not touch" and move his hand away. I will continue to do this repeatedly until he looses interest. If he approaches it again, the first time I tell him "do not touch" and move his hand away. If he reaches for it again he gets a hand flick and I move his hand away. And repeat. I also try to divert his attention to something he CAN touch, but not every time he reaches for the offending object.

Most people would probably think it's easier to move the offending object or put a child lock on it. And it may be for a while...but what about when they are tall enough to reach the object, or when they learn to open that lock, or worse yet when you are at someone else's house? I would rather fight the battle at the onset, rather than wage an all out war when they're 3. At Noah's age he probably obeys this command 50% of the time (meaning he stops right away) when I say the words. The other 50% get hand flicks because I know that he knows what it means now. Mary was about 18 months when we ceased having problems with this. Not that she never touches anything she shouldn't. Somethings she doesn't know and others she is testing me. But it is very rare that we have to remind her.

I don't say that to brag. If you've been around my kids for about 5 minutes you know that they are not perfect. But I say that to give hope! You can (and should) teach your kids what they can and can't touch. It's much better than not teaching them, then getting mad when they break something.

Another great tip I've heard, but never really employed, is the one finger rule. The child is allowed to touch certain items with one finger:) That way the seemingly irresistible urge to touch is satisfied, but they don't chuck your Christmas ornament across the room.